Hero

I've been struggling to come up with some new material due to the serious nature of current events. I mean how do you poke fun at the Pope? Terri Shiavo? Johnnie Cochran? Okay! We can take a stab at him, oh my bad! (no pun intended, if the coffin don't fit..........). So I thought I should reflect on the concept of Hero and what it means.

My dear mother and I have had conversations about heros and specifically what and who they are. Now if you know me at all, my first response to who I have as a hero is, "I don't idolize anyone but me!"

Then I think back to my elementary school years and remember a project that we did in the 4th grade. We had a classmate trace our body outline onto a large piece of paper (if this would happen today I would need to get bids from at least 3 contractors to perform the work that a little 8 year old girl did 20 some years ago. All right 27 years ago!) and then we drew, colored, and pasted an image of our hero on to our outline. Now, even then, I remember that selecting someone to idolize was difficult, but I couldn't just leave a chalk line on the floor and wait for Quincy M.E. to happen by and start asking questions (he was the Miami CSI of his day). So I forced myself to choose someone and complete my school project (This habit of finishing school projects would only last for a few more years because when adolescence arrived I had the unique experience of discovering that I knew everything and no longer needed stupid uninformed adults to attempt to give me instruction).

So what is a hero? In my opinion a hero is someone who runs into a burning building and saves lives. This definition does not allow for hero worship, which is where I fall short. I can not account for the public or historical figure that someone may consider to be a hero.

Technology and mass information gathering has hindered this form of idolization. As recently as the 1960's Americans respected the office of the President regardless of their political affiliation. Today we get every quote and verbal gaff digitally beamed to us. Technology and communication has humanized people who once seemed to carry elevated status and has armed those who have views in opposition, thus further dividing the already polorized populous. My god! I read last month that Abraham Lincoln was gay. Imagine reading that in the paper in 1863. Instead of the Emancipation Proclamation we would have gotten new shoes for everyone and moved the capital to Providence, Rhode Island. I can see Lincoln saying, "Heeeeeyy, will all you southern fellas just relax and have a Cosmo? If you do, it's Gucci for everyone." Bam! No civil war.

There are, sadly, some self proclaimed heroes. What has Bill Cosby been doing in the media these days? Bill has lost his mind. He has proclaimed himself as the moral disciplinarian for African-American youth. Does he not remember his television program was the whitest thing on TV ever? I mean come on, The Dukes of Hazard a had more realistic "urban" feel than the Cosby Show. They are never gonna buy it Bill!

Or what about heroes who don't want to be heroes? Charles Barkley told sports reporters, when asked if he should act more like a role model for the younger fans, "I don't want to be a role model!" Then he turned into a dinner roll. A basket full of em' to be precise.

Then there are the destructive heroes. Do you remember Charles Manson? He still to this day has a small following and its not because of his folk music. How about David Koresh and Jim Jones? That really worked out for their followers. Hitler is hero to some! On that note I have decided to start a Richard the Lion Heart fan club you can join if you bring a bible and an eager Muslim. Lets make Uncle Joe Stalin a hero, he only killed people who were going to starve anyway.

You are all cordially invited over to my house to celebrate Slobodan Milosovic Day where we will watch excerpts from last years roast of Idi Amin. Not to give the ending away but Sese Seko Mobutu gets the crowd rolling in the isles when he tells the story of his and Amin's adventures in Ibiza and the "little Spanish girl" who lost her way.

Hero is a very personal and subjective topic. I personally am not comfortable selecting heroes and it is probably because of the connotation that I have associated with the term. I do respect and admire people. I respect accomplishment when there should be none. I admire people who do more than simply what is expected of them day in and day out.

Thomas is the man who cleans my bar at the end of the night. As I am finishing my money we often have an opportunity for small chatter and I have been able to learn a few things about him. This man works constantly and I have never heard him complain. He always smiles and says hello (you try doing that at 3 am). He is putting his daughter through a top 25 college and she is considering going to medical school. He is proud. In this world of feed me now and hurry up and die, Thomas has earned my respect because he doesn't work that way. His work ethic is amazing and his goals are simple. I don't have a hero but I admire the focus and will power that Thomas exemplifies to me every single day.

Since it is long over and there is nothing that I can do about it now, Roger Staubach will have to remain glued to my outline. Unfortunately, he is a lot taller than me, so his feet didn't make the cut. Let Quincy figure that one out.